DISQUS

Daniel Ha · 1 year ago

Deep. Despite never meeting you yet (what's up with that?), I feel like I know you well after this one post. Write more like this.

I like the thought that it's all about experiencing. Almost everything I do is done with the thought that at the least it'd make a good story. And I'd learn from it.

Wish you the best, man. Also, the new blog design rocks.

Taylor Davidson · 1 year ago

I'm similarly impressed by the openness: most people are completely unable to be this honest and open to anybody. I could learn a lot from you...

Justin Thorp · 1 year ago

Dude, I really appreciate your level of transparency and honesty about what's going on in your life. It's definitely inspiring for me. Also... you'll definitely be in my prayers!

Alma · 1 year ago

I can relate to a lot of what you write here. Here's my story... My dad was an alcoholic who died when I was six. I basically stopped feeling after that and totally became a people pleasing perfectionist. I had no opinions of my own, and I was so focused on everything outside myself that I didn't even know who I was. I had friends, but mostly they were just acquaintances. I never let anyone get to know me. I basically planned to take care of my Mama for the rest of my life. I expected to be alone forever--hell, I wanted to be alone. It was like that for a really long time. I know that I've been depressed off and on throughout the years, but I was never really in touch with it...if that makes sense. For me, writing was the way out. Little by little, I started breaking out of it. College did a lot for me in terms of helping me get in touch with who I am and what I want out of life. When I finally did start putting myself out there, it was like I had no boundaries. I can count the number of people I've dated on one hand--literally--and most of those ended up being long-term, extremely damaging relationships.

I came to a point where I realized that I was just messed up. I started recognizing patterns in my life. I reached out in the ways that I could, to people who would understand. Therapy didn't really work for me because it's still terribly difficult for me to open up to people--especially those I don't know well. So, I did a lot of self-work--took a long time to examine myself and exercise vulnerability. It was actually really grueling to face myself.

It's been a handful of years since I started that tough evaluation and process of changing myself. Two or so years ago, I met a great guy who lived in California. Neither of us were really interested in relationships. We both had other priorities. During the course of our friendship, it just sort of snuck up on us. For the first time in my life, I'm really happy with my love life. I still look forward to talking to him every day, and we've weathered a lot of big change recently. I never thought I, of all people, would ever be able to have a healthy relationship--but I do now.

So, if there's hope for me, there's definitely hope for you.

matt · 1 year ago

Brave post Micah! I hope you have stocked up on courage cause all that "experience" you are after requires more than a little heartbreak. It is just the nature of being open and vulnerable. Where you end up will be light years from where you start, and for a guy who loves to control things, the only way you can get there is to relinquish control. What i know is that with your honesty and all the amazing things you have to offer someone you will end up somewhere special.

califmom · 1 year ago

Micah, this post, right here, is the truly chic thing about you. Thank you for sharing it with us. Thank you for sharing you with us.

Susan Mernit · 1 year ago

Thank you for this great post.

kristen · 1 year ago

inspirational and brave, micah. thanks for sharing. those will be lucky women. good luck with the continuing journey--

sj · 1 year ago

Wow man, that takes guts to open yourself up like that. The world needs more good men - women need more good men. While you may a douchebag, it sounds like you're one of the good ones. I'm sure the right woman will realize that as well.

Wish you the best...

m4dhatter · 1 year ago

Micah, you are a very brave person. Not only for writing this post but for doing the things in it. My wife has a similar story but it is not mine to tell. Stick with it and those who love you will always have your back.

Jess Martin · 1 year ago

I knew there was something about you when we met. Other than the tattoos. Something in your eyes said that you were open and paying attention to real relationships. I'm even more impressed because you finally chose the harder path rather than having it forced on you. The moment that I could look myself in the mirror and say "I am broken, I need help" was pretty much forced on me.

I look forward to meeting up with you again when I next visit Boulder.