Learn To Duck - Latest Comments in Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Leonid S. Knyshov — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 21:05:33 -0000

I have an arguably unique perspective on purely women's conferences.

You see, Microsoft invited me to attend and present at them for the past couple of years. Each time I am one of fewer than 5 men at the event. My bio should still be online at http://www.inventyourfuture... - which is the event at which I presented.

That does create a fun little problem - everyone typically is dying to find out why I am so special. :)

It helped me get a better understanding of the challenges facing women in corporate world. It was also interesting to work through some business case studies. One Stanford professor, Margaret A. Neale, particularly stands out as a speaker. She sold me on the quality of Stanford GSB in less than an hour, basically. :)

So, put InventYourFuture on your agenda for next year if you seek more women's-only conferences to attend. Besides me, you'll be one of very few guys to even know of its existence. Microsoft provides the space at their Mountain View campus. The first conference was geared toward entrepreneurs. This year's conference was more for corporate women. Frankly, that reduced its value to me as that's not my target audience.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Micah Baldwin — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:14:05 -0000

Meg, I think thats a good point. I have never been to BlogHer (not
sure if anyone else that has commented has), so I dont know what to
expect, which was my point in the first place. I am going to learn.
Hopefully, it doesnt require girly parts, and it will be as good a
time as people say it is.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

MEg — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:08:58 -0000

Wow! This one got all controversial, Micah!

I haven't been to BlogHer, so I can't really speak to the tone or feel of the conference. I've heard both good and bad things from women that have attended, so I assume it's like every other conference on earth in that sense.

I do think that the exclusion of men as speakers doesn't necessarily make sense. I'd think the best person to have speak would be the best person in that field, regardless of their gender. That's what I'd want to see, at least, whether the conference was geared towards my gender or not.

Granted, that means Micah will never get to speak, but... ;)

But, again, not going, so perhaps my opinion is moot. I also haven't experienced any sort of barrier to entry or glass ceiling online, so I can't speak to that, either. I think writers have it much easier than most other fields that create or work on anything in this space.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:56:47 -0000

Nope. Done. There's no respect. That's the basis for my interactions with people - mutual respect.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:55:06 -0000

Right - last thing I'm going to say about it - clearly, your ability to follow your own timeline is incorrect.
You used the word "Bullshit" to describe by initial post. You can now go back and re-read it and tell me where I said that you have no chance of learning anything because you don't have a vagina in that post.
When you realize that you started slinging the mud, I hope you understand why I've lost a great deal of respect over this interaction.

"I think that is such bullshit." was your response to what I said about why women choose to attend the event.

Try to find where I said "you can't learn anything because you don't have a vagina." Go ahead. Try. Because I'm VERY careful about what I say and how I say it - and I've never said that to anyone in my life.

I said - and I'll copy & past it to make it quite clear to you again:
"Sorry bud, but until you grow a vagina, you're talking from the other camp about what it's like to be in mine. "

And until you do? You have as little ability to tell me what my experiences as a woman in the Tech field are as I have to tell an African American what his/hers are with any authority.

But since you are going to just insult me rather than actually address what I've said? I'm done with it. I don't bother to even attempt to discuss things with someone who doesn't bother to actually address what I've said.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Erin, QueenofSpain — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:17:17 -0000

hug it out

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Micah Baldwin — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:40:07 -0000

I promise to write a couple while I am there. If I don't learn something, it will be such a waste.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

drewbeatty — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:16:40 -0000

I'm looking forward to seeing a follow-up post regarding your experiences there. Wish I could go, but it's a little bit far away from Toronto.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Micah Baldwin — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:04:40 -0000

By indicating that I have not the ability to understand the reason for the need for a conference like blogher because I dont have a vagina, is dismissive, asinine, and offensive. So, yes, your comment that I need a vagina to understand these things is bullshit. period. done.

I showed you an appropriate level of respect by 1) posting your comment no matter how offensive it was; and 2) responding to it.

If you dont understand why I found it offensive, then I am happy to explain. But, please reread the post. I am extremely specific about my reasons for wanting to go, primarily focused around learning. Yet, if I follow your logic, I have no chance of learning anything because I dont have a vagina.

And that, my friend, is bullshit.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:52:33 -0000

I'm not going to rewrite what I already replied to Adrienne below, since it's your blog and you can read it for yourself.

You and I are going to have to agree to disagree. But in the future? You could try to refrain from calling my perspective on something "Bullshit" when it differs from yours.

I've shown you a level of respect that you aren't showing me. And if you think that sort of interaction is acceptable to me, you are incorrect.

I suppose it's your prerogative in your blog - but to be honest? It makes me less likely to continue reading it or to comment in the future.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:49:08 -0000

sorry - apparently the lack of emoticons peppering my comment didn't allow the humorous tone to show thru.
I'll refrain from commenting further.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:48:19 -0000

Well I certainly understand that las part - even if I'm not an entrepreneur. :)

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:47:06 -0000

You apparently don't quite understand when I use the word disenfranchised in this context... as it would be impossible for the disenfranchised to "disenfranchise" others - that would mean that we somehow kept men from speaking in meaningful ways at all of the other conferences.

As for "do unto others" - yeah, I used to rail against that when I was younger too. Because I was raised from a position of entitlement. Which is why my senior year in high school I applied to the Black Athletic Scholarship fund. When the committee member called me to ask why I had applied to it as I was clearly *NOT* African American - I tossed back 'to point out the hypocrisy - you'd be having a fit if there were such a thing as the 'White Athletic Scholarship fund'!!"
Fortunately for me - they just tore up my application... and I left it at that.
Years later I realize how incredibly insulting what I did was. Because, you see - there are dozens upon dozens of "White Athletic Scholarship funds" - they just aren't called that... In the same vein - you may not realize how much disparity there is - but a man insisting that BlogHer should have male speakers is the same as my clueless application in high school.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Josh Fraser — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:25:15 -0000

Sure, I don't see why 'similar people with similar interests' can't be based around gender. But I also understand that guys and girls are different. Guys don't have "girls night" where we sit around and paint our toenails, eat chocolate and watch The Notebook. We don't have our own BlogHim conference either, and i doubt we ever will.

And that's okay.

However, what really gets me excited is how we can connect VC's with entrepreneurs.... people needing jobs with those who are hiring... connecting people with problems to people with solutions.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Adriennevh — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:47:46 -0000

Sorry, Lucretia, I enjoy you but I don't enjoy being "lumped" into any groups, especially when you are telling me i am disenfranchised. Yes, I'm a newbie to all of this so no, I haven't seen as much as you and I do respect your intelligence and experience in this field. However, I have to whole heartedly agree with Micah about the so call disenfranchised disenfranchising others. Whatever happened to do unto others and all that jazz?
I too made a last minute decision to go and it is for many reasons, the least of which is the gender of the majority of attendees. QUite the opposite, I am very much looking forward to the interaction with people of many different genders, races, creeds, and what ever difference you can come up with.

Just my 2 cents.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Micah Baldwin — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:04:32 -0000

to indicated that I dont understand disenfranchisement because I dont have the correct physical features is as much bullshit as your original assertion.

For a "excluded" group to create a "exclusionary" group in order to feel "included" is just flawed.

Why the desire to separate? Why not a desire to integrate?

Also, if I followed your logic, there is no value in my attending until I underwent a sex change operation, but I could never understand the issues, or attempt to learn from the attendees.

I will say it once, and I will say it again. Bullshit.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Micah Baldwin — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:01:27 -0000

it was directed at Gruen. You dont know him or know the reference.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Micah Baldwin — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:57:05 -0000

Sweet! Looking forward to it!

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Aimee Greeblemonkey — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 16:59:25 -0000

Very interesting conversation, and can't really add anything since I have never been to BlogHer, other than I just made the last minute decision to go this week - so I will see you there, dude.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:19:15 -0000

Well said Josh.

Question tho: in bringing 'similar people together with similar interests' - do you think that gender is part of 'similar people' or not?

I promise I'll behave, I'm curious about your perception tho.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:16:21 -0000

Now why would you say never? You were there when Erin was discussing the fact that they are considering changing that policy in the next few years as the dynamics of the conference change.

Never is a long time.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:15:03 -0000

Sorry Robert - but you've got the same disqualifying features as Micah does... and that is, the inability to be a member of the class that feels disenfranchised.

"#1 speaker was a woman" is not the same thing as "women are playing on an equal field when it comes to speaking engagements.."

You can speak to why *you* as a man find BlogHer compelling - you can not tell me why I as a woman do - or why the other women I've spoken to at length about this do.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:13:12 -0000

Really? Is that why I've had conversations with women about the fact that we are an after thought?
Is that why every time there's a 'nomination list' of qualified folks in social media there always has to be someone in the comments pointing out qualified women who were left out?

Sorry bud, but until you grow a vagina, you're talking from the other camp about what it's like to be in mine.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Lucretia M Pruitt — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:11:24 -0000

Feel free to bring any one of those women here.
As it is - please note that I specifically said "PART of what makes women choose BlogHer" not "ALL women choose BlogHer because" - if you're going to argue with me, at least argue with what I actually said dude.

Re: Why I Am Going to BlogHer

Micah Baldwin — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 01:29:55 -0000

nope. Which is why you will never attend. No men on panels.